Confessions of a Rube

I am feeling the need to purge myself of my pre-kiddo thoughts and attitudes of which some of you were undoubtedly subjected. I confess I thought I got it. I didn't.

First, let me say to those of you I burdened with my theories/thoughts/opinions about parenthood: you were certainly more kind than need be. Obviously, you could sense my incredible ignorance and surely laughed your buns off as soon as I left. I am truly sorry for anything said along the lines of "How I Would Do It".

Things I have learned in the past 6 months of babydom (I actually typed "babydoom" at first, Freud?):

1. The dog goes down the chain. Way down. Sure, they still get some loving and fed and all, but they are not the stars of the program any longer.

2. Sometimes there isn't enough time to work out. All my adult life I have worked out, ran, Pilates, yoga, kickboxing etc. etc. I just knew I would be the kind of mom who did it all. Made her own baby food just before she went out and did her maintenance 6 mile run. Hardly. I have started to count squats as picking my babies up off the floor.

3. Talking about your kids IS the absolute most important topic ever. Period. I am very sorry to any and all that I may have glazed over a bit while you described a new trick or antic of your little one. Because you see, now, I have been known to strike up a conversation in Target with complete strangers about my girls (who aren't even with me). I get it now.

4. Sleep and showers will never be the same. They are done as chores now, with one ear open.

5. Internal distractedness takes on another level. When I am away from my girls, I cannot complete full sentences. I am perpetually running back what I said to whoever is watching them, what needs to get done while I am out, what I am not doing at home because I am gone etc., etc.

6. Laundry takes on its own life. At first, it was just a few extra loads here and there. The smell of fresh laundry put lovingly away in my girls' drawers. Now, it is an unending mountain of stains that must be treated ASAP, blankets, bibs, clothes, tiny socks etc. etc. This of course does not even include my own or my hubby's (who is probably laughing when he reads this because I have given up on doing his laundry too).

7. You must have a vice. Be it chocolate, caffeine, Taco Bueno, the Biggest Loser, whatever. This is stressful stuff. Moments spent in sheer pleasure are needed.

And so there you have it, confessions of a novice Mommy about how I didn't get it and now am sort of. Getting it that is.

Love, Mel