Thoughts

I am having a really hard time trusting that we will actually be bringing Gracie home. Even though seeing the PGN approval should be a hoorah moment, it is terribly difficult to trust it still. I keep thinking: just wait something will happen. I am sure that is a normal reaction after the emotional roller coaster that has been our adoption journey. I do not want to ride it any longer. It is scary to let my guard down and actually believe that our dream is coming true. We made a promise to that little angel on our visit trip in August of 2006 that we would be coming back to get her. It took so long to get to a point where I felt I had left no stone unturned to keep that promise. There were so many long nights that I laid awake trying to think of another approach or person who could help us get her. There were so many nights I couldn't sleep wondering if Gracie had a full belly or was being told she had worth and was loved. Every child deserves a family and this child has been our child since March of 2006. At times, it has felt as if she were kidnapped. We knew she was still living, but very little details. Still, hope is a powerful gift from God. We never let our hope for Gracie go. I continue to hope that this is the real deal, that I will finally kiss those sweet cheeks again and say "I kept my promise".
Love, Mel